I had the day off today. It's nice. I went running in Central Park this morning and am cleaning my room. A lot of organization more than cleaning really. I have three major things left to do before I'm really done for the day.

I spent most of Saturday feeling really shocked by myself for kissing that guy on Friday night. Not in a bad way, but not like in a proud way either. Just thinking about how it was so easy. I know I was drunk but there was no agonizing, no nerves, no panic about meaning.

I was dancing in the afterhours and it was the closest to feeling like Britain in a long time. The being so comfortable in my skin, the dancing, the good music. The talking to people like I'm happy and open as opposed to burdened and neurotic. I guess I just felt like this most of the night, but the dancing was the best.

So I have to figure out how to keep that in my everyday world. Not just in my drunk one. And I really can't afford to do that all the time, for my wallet and my health. Another thing I need a strategy for.

I know one of my things in Britain was to not turn down invites. I think I have to start that here. And this dancing and kissing boys is good, I just have to do it with available ones, and not rely on my tits so much.

(oh, I haven't heard from CRB in about a week. Zebra thinks it's good. I initiated the last contact so things are up to him this time. I picked up his sweater today. It still smelled like him.)