Thinking

I feel a bit like I've been neglecting this place, but I don't think I have been. Either way, I'm posting now.

I told my mom about Filmmaker today and she asked lots of questions. At the end she asked if I was happy. I said yes without hesitation. That felt good. She brought to my mind some questions I should ask him. I'm happy to just take my time with doing that though. There's no rush.

I am thinking about him a lot today. We talked this morning because the funeral might be when we were planning on going out and I hadn't really told him anything about that. I don't really feel sad for my neices mom (who died). I feel sad for my neice. I feel sad for baldie. I feel sad because it reminds me of losing my own parent. But I also haven't cried yet. I'm expecting it to come but I don't know if it will.

But, Filmmaker. As expected he was great and we'll just see how things go and see each other when it works. He also said he'd make sure he'd be able to come to my Birthday dinner next week, which I have to send out invites for asap. If I was feeling better he'd probably be here tonight but I'm still sick. Plus, I have a single bed. I might need to change that. It's a big deal in several ways though.

Tomorrow I'm going to the doctor to work out some Birth Control. I'm going to get weighed too. I'm going to get back to eating better and doing pilates so I want to know how far I am from where I was a few weeks ago. Actually, a bunch has happened since I was last at my doctor. I have lost weight and I'm off all my medication. Ok, so two things, but two big ones.

I'm hoping the Birth control will have the side effect of painless and short periods, but not result in weight gain and skin issues. Just the good and no bad. I'm also pretty sure that becasue I had my period last week, any birth control I start now won't be good for an entire month. That sucks a lot but if I know it's starting to work and we're using condoms anyways I think I'll feel fine. We'll see.

ok, I must go do my party invites, and then head to bed. I'm hoping sleep and tea will bring forth fewer feelings of sickness in the morning.