To Midge

Do you mind that I write about how I'm feeling in relation to you on linger? My thoughts are going crazy and it's somehow gotten all tied up into C, who I'm apparently not done thinking about. But some of it is relating to you and Blondie also reads so I want to make sure it's ok.
I feel like I need advice but I'm not willing to open myself up to anyone enough because what I'm keeping kind of makes me feel pathetic. In itself that is sad and untrue but it is still that way. When I sugarcoat stuff I know what the advice is but I'm not sure otherwise. I feel like I should just know it and it should just happen. But nothing ever happens and I don't know how to do anything else.
That all went further than I planned. I feel stuck in my lack of relationships.

(An email I just sent. You may get more later. I'm feeling confused and needing affection and companionship. I'm dyeing my hair red.)