Last day

We're leaving Lily's family today and it feels far to early. I am mostly at home here but I'm not doing nearly enough work (cooking, tidying) because they simply won't let me. This morning is chocolate croissants for breakfast and I have white chocolate which is wonderful.

I'm going to go to Birmingham one day this week (Wednesday maybe)to give Lily some time to revise even though she'll likely spend the day with her new boy (I'll give him a name once I meet him). Tonight we are going to stay in and watch films and order pizza.

I will also hop over to Beeston one day and maybe walk around the campus a bit as well as spend a different day shopping in Nottingham. It is good and I kind of feel like I've been here forever.

One thing I haven't written about is that this holiday season has brought with it dreams about my dad. At first it was just mention of him, then it was thinking he would be somewhere but he wasn't and it was as if I had forgotten. Last night was different though and was the mostdisturbing one recently in general.

I don't remember too many details and other things were involved but basically my mom and his family had gone behind my and my sisters back to excavate my dad (in reality he was creamated) and perform this super controversial surgery that would gring him back to life. When I found out I freak and lots of crying and screaming and stress ensued. My sister was mad too but not in the way I was.

It was complicated and confusing because everyone thought it meant I didn't really wanthim back but it was that they didn't ask us and had no right to make such a decision. PLus, the surgery was so new that they didn't know if, or how much, it would work and they was a chance he would just end up brain dead or something like that and that really upset me.

I'm feeling ok this morning despite the dream. I'm not panicky about it nor has it left me exhausted. Maybe the increased dose of the anti-depressant was what I needed.