I am lying in bed. I am kind of tired but not wanting to actually sleep. My neck is really sore but I don't think not sleeping will help it any. I wanked earlier because I should take advantage of Titania's absence but came really bloody quickly. I don;t usually take a long time but tonight I was kind of surprised by the speed. Usually whe I am wanting to have an orgasm just to release energy I'll be faster but that wasn't the case tonight.
I'm feeling a bit fucked up and my neck is really quite sore.
Basically I feel off because I am constantly fantasizing about a friend and C is a stoner but I'm still hoping he'll be at Claire's birthday gathering on Thursday night. I guess there are a few things about these situations that make me see them as a problem.
First, I think that if C is there that I will be a dork and not actually talk to him or be really aloof and make no eye contact. This would be normal behaviour from me. The other alternative I'm used to is getting really drunk and silly but the only thing we'll be drinking is a bottle of wine split between Titania and I.
The other issue with C is that he smokes pot. I guess I'm just in a place where my experiences irritate me and I don't want to jump to the conclusion that this means he will be boring and slow and complacent, but I do. I know it doesn't have to be true but it often is. I want to be meeting people who want to go out and do things and I kind of assume he won't be that way. He'll just break the flow of drinking games because he's too stoned to keep up. Blah.
I actually will be going to Virgin tomorrow afternoon because I have to go downtown to do something else so I might as well check if the DVD I want (and if he) is there. He hasn't been in the last three times I've been there but one of those times I didn't go downstairs to the area he works in.
ok, I feel a bit less occupied now and a bit more tired. Off I go.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Seeking Slumber
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3 comments:
I understand where you're coming from, but bear in mind that smoking dope affects different people in different ways, just like drinking alcohol does.
i totally agree. smoking pot DOES affect people in different ways, but im still a judgemental snob b/c i have compounding issues with the idea of a vancouver stoner. shouldnt people know you for your art? or your music? or the fact that you mix it up always? and not have to include, "but, he's a stoner". baaaaah. midge.
The concept of a "vancouver stoner" is totally real. I think the fact that Claire even mentioned it was most significant to me. That's a big warning sign.
I am still trying to keep an open mind though. I know there's always exceptions and I am often happy to find them.
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