Relief

Coffee today was awesome. We talked and talked and shared and laughed. I walked with him to work so he wouldn't be late. We're going out on Monday night. I just feel almost shocked by it all. I seriously think I know more real information about him because of an hour and a half today than I ever did in the how-many-ever years we've known each other. I almost don't even know what to say about it all.

I mentioned what Red told me about him blaming her for us never having a real relationship and he acknowledged he said that and really meant it. He told me about his mom, spoke with passion about his job, made me feel at ease with words and touch.

(I'm watching a program of cool opera-based short films. I like it.)

I was nervous. My heart was racing. I felt like it was a blind date - I didn't know if I'd recognize him or what he looked like now or anything. I did recognize him though. He could tell I was nervous and called me on it because I was looking around a lot and fiddling with the mocha cup and my hair. But I felt good in the end. I realize this is all very vague but I think the only thing of import is that it was so good. He was so good.

After I left him at his work I called Chatton. She was shocked that I had seen him and said I shouldn't have been at coffee with him. I said it should have been IceHockey but that I would still go out with him as soon as exams are over if he doesn't come to our christmas party (where CRB is not invited). CRB and I are just re-becoming friends whereas I'm interested in IceHockey for dating so that is still totally being persued. I think I'd much rater date him than CRB anyways. Way more my "type" and way less complicated history.

Chatton said she'd just love to see me get laid though. I agreed despite my medication-induced lack of want. I know if the chance was presented to me it wouldn't be turned down. Also, my massage last night ended up turning into a wanking session while Oceans 11 was paused. Good sign really.

(I love opera.)

CRB and I also made future plans to watch films at my house so he could see my pictures. That will likely be after exams are over though.

In other news I have no appetite. I had a super good breakfast this morning but can't even think of eating now without feeling gross. I hope it passes. I also MUST as usual write some papers tonight but I'm going to have a bath first. Then I will set up a tea/gingersnap/music/christmas-light study haven. I really hope this positive energy lasts. I'm considering dropping another one of my year long requirement courses but I don't know if the one less paper and exam will really make a difference. I have tomorrow to decide.