Airports

I don't want to sleep. I'm not feeling tired enough and I don't want to think. I ended up spending some time at the airport because I am an awful grand-daughter and it made me want luggage and a ticket. I hated being there and I loved being there. I feel kind of numb and not stable. I alsmost cried on the bus ride home.

I looked up the therapist I was last at and called to see if I could get an appointment. I stopped going partly because it was expensive but it also stresses me out in a way. That said, I know I need it right now and I can afford it. I get mostly reimbursed anyways. But I think I need it. I know I need to deal with stuff about boys and relationships but I'm not sure if I'll do that. I tend to avoid vocalising that it's a real problem for me but doing that kind of defeats the purpose of going. We'll see if I can even get an appointment.

There's a girl I've known for a while she went to art school with Chatton, Claire and another good friend who I'm not sure if I have given a name to in the past. We met her, her girlfriend and a bunch of their other friends at pride and she works with Titania. I've never hung out one-on-one with her but see her at parties a lot. Anyways, we;ve been hanging out a bunch more since I've been back and she's going to help me clean out my storage room to get ready for a big garage sale in two weeks.

Once that's done Titani are going to host a gathering of friends at what we are calling a house-re-warming. It will involve good food, drinking, games, music. a mellow vibe overall because the place is small but it's always fun.

I'm also feeling kind of sick today. Like waves of nausea that come and go. I didn't eat a lot yesterday or today so I'm not sure if that's the problem. I finished watching all the Wonderfalls episodes and they are soo good. I recommend getting your hands on them. It's pretty silly, but smart and funny.

I think at the core of everything in the last few days is that I want affection and I don't care too much where it comes from. Even the cat loving me is great. She's purring in my lap right now. I'm going to make some pasta with pesto. I'm also trying to download all the Queer as Folk episodes for season five. I'm not into reality right now and I don't know how ok that is. I guess it all depends how long it lasts.