I feel kind of sick. I find fault in everything. We have stuff in common but I'm shallow. (He wears fleece and hiking boots). We did talk very well together though. No silences until waiting for the bus. I totally agreed to going out again but backed off from all attempts at touching. He also suggested staying out longer but I said I wanted to go home. I kept getting complimented and it made me uncomfortable. I felt on the spot and unsure how to proceed. I need to talk it out with some people I think.
He was what I was expecting I guess and did remind me of CRB in some ways but smarter. And he loves what he does which is good. but hmm. I feel anxious.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
A First Date
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4 comments:
Okay, so I know I said that hiking boots on someone in vancouver is just unacceptable, but i keep remembering that this is vancouver and we're the only ones that don't wear hiking boots and fleece. and being somewhere where it's like fucking -25 degrees celsius outside i must say that hiking boots and fleece are in order. Maybe he's really from the north? I mean, inuvik north! or, maybe he's not *from* vancouver and has just seen it horribly represented and thinks fleece is where it's at. or or or!
okay, and i know its hard to accept attentions and compliments, but you're fabulous, i'm fabulous, and its just something we'll have to get over. i'm happy you went out with a stranger that's a gigantic and fabulous step!! (go you!!!) email me if you want more debriefing. i love you!
xoxo midge.
He's from the interior. And it's not just those things - they're just the easy one to pick on.
Also, I completely accept the compliments, but they made me feel pressured to meet some sort of expectation he had. hmm.
well, i'm going to be really blunt here and say forthrightly (and hopefully without future guilt!) that, you're just going to have to get over that. it's impossible to try to live up to someone elses expectations, because in all reality, who knows what he expects? i sure as hell don't believe in gendered basics, bleck. but you can live up to your expectations, and be fabulous!!!!!!!!!
I do completely know I have to get over it. I'm am working on it.
Also, I don't think his expectations are beyond anything he says. It's like he's saying these things without knowing so much about me that it's seems like it's too early to say them. But that's my insecurity to deal with and really shouldn't refelect poorly on him.
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