paired off

I am starting to feel kind of normal now and fell like I'll be ready to go back to work next week. I am at home tonight (in bed right now) as I have been recently just cleaning and sorting stuff in and around the flat. We brought a bunch of things from my fathers including a bunch of old concert related stuff and two computers. I will only end up keeping one.

Titania helped for a while but around 10:30 left to go to a guys house. She's been seeing him for just under a month and I have my reservations. He seems nice but he doesn't want to be exclusive and she does and while he doesn't seem to be sleeping with anyone else, if he does I'm not sure how she'll handle it and it could end up with her being hurt and/or doing something she's not completely satisfied with. For now I'm just talking with her and being around for however she chooses to deal with it as they are only her choices to make and I can just give her other ways of considering them.

I'm feeling a bit lonely I think just becasue everyone here has lives and I have to place myself within them. Plus almost everyone around is coupled to some extent (Titania, Miranda, Olive and Chatton are notable) and I feel far from being that way myself. Not that I don't want to be I just don't know how it would work in a way. I don't really know what that means.

I guess I'm just not seeing cute british guys all around me anymore so I'm feeling understimulated. Although I haven't really spent time with anyone other than family outside of the house. I did walk home from my Dad's flat today which got me in a few shops I frequented before and that felt good but it's still kind of weird just being here.

I also think I'm starting to get my sex drive back a bit. I should see if my vibe can be heard through the blankets and in the bedroom. I did wank with TItania in the room a few times but quickly, with hands only, and when I was sure she was asleep. It's not so much that I'm uncomfortable with it (wanking with a few select friends is actually a bit of a fantasy for me) but I'm pretty sure she's not so I need to respect that. She does know I have a vibe though and use it relatively frequently. I also bought her first one for her and know she used it at least once in a while because her fav attachement broke.

Anyway, I just wanted to say a few words to show that I'm still the girl who wants to sleep with boys a whole lot and chooses to wank instead because I have this big issue of being liked by the person who's fucking me and needing to have some sort of regularity with them.We are going dancing tomorrow night though with some friends which should be fun.