Twisted Confidence

I should be more worried about studying for this exam. I mean I've been to all the lectures, I've done some wider reading, and I've participated in the seminars, but this is an important lecture. So far I've read through all my notes and handouts and copied out interesting and particularly notable things about certain works. I have over 3 pages of notes now. I have a bit more reading of my own notes from reading but it's all just support.

I should care more I think because the themes in the lecture are what the MA I want to do kind of focuses on and it's taught by the woman who runs the MA program. She knows me though and seems to have much ability in my work as she taught the fun lecture in the first term and recommended I stay in the hard level lecture. I also don't know how I did on my paper yet. It should make much of a difference but if I didn't do well I have to work extra hard. I also know I lost 5% because I handed it in a day late.

I could go look at my result but depending on what it is it could really impact how I feel about the exam. I mean if I did well I can relax a bit and write the exam feeling calm. However, if I didn't do well it could be disastrous. I mean if I did badly I have to do really well on the exam to make up for it. (The exam and paper are each worth 50% of the total result.)

So why am I not studying you ask? I don't know. I'm feeling calm. Like I don't have an exam. Exam stress does not afflict me but it's not because I'm always prepared, it's because I always do fairly well. Good and bad all at the same time. I've been really diligent in studying this whole day too so I feel pretty good. I also have to do a bit more work for my exam that's on Friday because I didn't do as much for it during the term and it's not a topic I know as well in general.

I think I'm going to go put some make-up on and get dressed and head onto campus. Get my results and read through my notes a few times. I need to get soy milk on my way home too. And do some stuff in the computer lab. Thanks all for indulging a very school centered post.