Cleaning House

Well in 24 hours I will be in Taxi going from the airport to my flat with Midge. Today I have a bunch of cleaning to do so that the house is put together and such. Titania also has sone more stuff to do when she gets home from work as we're sharing the cleaning stuff. Main things are the kitchen, putting my clothes away and sorting my craft stuff in the hallway. Yesterday I bought a new shelf as the closet all this stuff was in was too small and impossible to keep organized and usable.

Last night I got some new clothes at Miranda;s clothing exchange. Some of them were Titania's though so I don't know if that really counts. A beautiful light pink off the shoulder angora sweater does though. I also bought flowers yesterday that look gorgeous. They put palms around the bouquet though and the cat ate all the tips off them. They still look great though, blue rhododendrons and yellow roses.

I was thinking about things today. I guess part of it was me wondering what's the point of casual sex. Like why enter into something you intend to do only once - especially with the risk of it being bad or have bad consequences. Maybe more to the point is I don't want things that are intentionally temporary and unstable. I have enough of that in my life that I want all new things to have the potential to stick with me. And this doesn't apply only to guys.

But then it does. I mean I don't want anything I know won't continue but I know I'm moving again. So why does this come up now? Because Midge is coming home. I've been thinking about this even though it's been slight and in the back of my mind. I know anything happening between us is completely up to me but I just don't know. My body is totally saying yes, but my mind is just all over the place. When I think about the actual eventuality of use sleeping in the same bed for the week and cuddling and being drunk together, I'm like ya, this could be good for the short time she's here.

But then (again) I think about What it will be serving me in the long term. And will there be awkwardness. And will our friends know. And will it be this moment in time thing, or something recurring when it hit the same city and the circumstance is right. I don't know if any of this stuff really matters though. Or if any of the answers will be negative.

I also some potential insecurity issues looming over my head too. And whenever the possibility of something like this is even slightly near that seems to happen. The one good thing about Midge though is that I know she likes me. Like she knows me really well and that's not going to fall apart.

But enough on that. I am realy going to try and just enjoy the four weeks she has here and just let whatever happen. Who knows, maybe we'll go out on Tuesday as planned and noth find hot boys to hook up with instead. Well I won't but I might meet someone I'd be interested in meeting again. I feel like such a prude even though I know that's not true at all.

I am going to go clean now because I really want to go to sleep very early so I have time to striaghtne my hair before lectures on Monday. And I'm still feeling a bit of lingering tiredness from last week that I need to be done with as I have a super busy week but must make all my lectures no matter how early.