Dinner time

I don't know what I want to eat for dinner. Instead I'm eating crackers and feeling unfulfilled. Today has been weird. I cried on the bus this morning and was in that place where I just feel so completely broken. I feel messed about boys and Vancouver/England and school and friends and just what I'm doing. I just feel broken and lost. It's rough.

I then went shopping and ened up with three items valuing 170.00. I might be taking the most expensive item (a brown skirt) back as I don't have lots of brown and it was expensive. Then I went and got my hair trimmed and coloured. The colour is awesome. We removed a bunch of the black out and them did an intense red with some chunky streaks in a super-bright red. It looks great but was not cheap either.

At my hair appointment I found out that my stylist was dating a tattoo artist that happened to be the one the person I just booked with apprenticed under. She had words of caution for me that she kind of plateaued but not at a super-high level. SO her work is usually ok but never great. hmm. I've already paid a deposit but it was low I've always done good research before but I have had mixed results. It's hard to find someone who is guaranteed to be good. I am going to go by her boyfriends studio on Friday but I don't know if I'll cancel the other appointment.

I feel torn about it all. I'm also feeling emotional about the date I'm memorializing which might be a factor in my nervousness. Not that I'm not sure about it but I'm worried that it's too soon. Like making it all very real. And whenever I think of that reality I cry and get upset. I feel like I'm in a rough place today.

In other news that's probably not something I need around I met a friend of Midges last night and he was good to talk to and will be going to some shows with us over the next few weeks. But I found out he emailed Midge last night once he got home and said I was really good to talk to. That was nice and flattering. However, there's stuff with him and Midge. Well non-stuff but still stuff.