Action of sorts

Today I went to lunch with an old friend (Red I think I named her in the past). We were best friends for a few years but we separated. I hadn't seen her in over a year and hadn't actually spent quality time with her in several years. She is the one who is all tangled up with CRB and me.

Anyway, Lunch was awesome. We talked tons, caught up with our lives tons. We then went to an art supply shop and bought cool paper. We'll meet before christmas when we're both done school and I'm going to show her how to bind books. It'll be fun. The day really made me realize why were were such good friend some 10 years ago.

But of course in all our talking CRB came up. Basically he wants to see me and has told her to give me his number so we can get in touch. He also told Red he blames her for nothing every actually happening between us as we could have been great together. I don't blame Red but I know she had a role. I mean we came together without her involved a few years ago but he fucked that up by being stubborn and with a girlfriend who didn't want him to see me. I know he regretted that nothing happened between us.

Now I have his number in my purse. I wish I had an email. I am very scared to use the number. I don't need any more craziness in my life. Last night I was thinking about him though. How I wish I could just run into him and have him hold me for a bit and sit with me. But it's more the action than the person. He's also someone I think I know would drop everything and come to comfort me. In part I'm scared to have that confirmed but I'm also scared to have it become untrue. Red says it is absolutely true.

There's reasons why I would love to talk to him but others why I think it will only (as perviously) end in disaster. Red says he has grown up but is still himself and she understands my reservations and will understand if I don't call him. Also, his mother died within the last year.

His mom used to call my house when he would disappear even though I had never met her. She was always drunk but wanted to know where he was. I never knew (I never really knew anything about him and his life at all.) but she would want to talk to me. One day she suggested that we get married. That it would be so good for him. I was 14.

So I'm not sure what to do if anything. I will admit I would really like to on some levels.

Edited around 19:00 to add some questions in my head:
1. Am I fooling myself in thinking we can have a normal friendship?
2. What are his motives for wanting to see me?
3. Is he single?
4. Would I only be adding chaos to my life?
5. Does he even want just a friendship?
6. Can I trust him to be honest and open with me?
7. Will I be able to be honest with myself?
8. Do I even know what my expectations are?
9. Is it fair if I only want someone to comfort me?
10. Will I understand my own reactions to him?