Third

CRB did get back to me and he is otherwise occupied. He asked what was up and I just went pathetic and said I was just wanting some company and that even though I wasn't sure before I now know I do want to see him so when he has some time to let me know.

I am bored. I want to sleep but I can't really. Titania should be home soon and I can talk to her a bit. I obviously am feeling strained. I must absolutely do one of my papers tomorrow before group. I must avoid thinking about CRB and focus on myself.

But I want to see him. I want him to hug me. Maybe I wanted to be this person he wanted and was lonely for. I want to sit with him and feel him and feel what's happening with me. At first I was nervous but now I'm not. I want to know where things are and how I feel with him. Who is he now? Is the chemistry still there? Are the "what if's" still there? Does he see it too? I just want it all out in the open where I can deal with it and move forward. I don't have time to sit and dwell.

Titania is home. There'll likely be more tomorrow. But If he were to call me now and ask to meet I would be ready to go in five short minutes.