Sources

Another weekend is more than half over. I spent another evening in making christmas gifts instead of out at Blondie's housewarming. I just don't feel like being out and meeting people and not being able to drink. I don't feel like I have anything to offer right now. The only things that get me excited are crafts and my trip. Unless you're Lily or into crafts this makes me a boring person to be around.

But I feel ok with myself. I start regular councelling with UBC on Thursday and have my next check in with my doctor in about a month. I haven't been to a group session in two weeks and can't go again this week but I feel like I should go. I should have gone this week and not let my laziness get the best of me. I also didn't go running at all this week but will go tomorrow for sure.

The foggy dreams are continuing. Also, I have brief moments where sex and boys seem interesting but they pass as soon as I can even consider doing anything about them. In a way that makes me feel less normal, less interesting and less functional. I don't know if any of that makes any sense to anyone other than myself.

A final note is that I still have to call Heavy of HK inc. He emailed me to call him two weeks ago but I've been putting it off becasue I just don't know how to explain that I simply called follow through with the agreement we made. I don't feel like I have the right to do that.

oh, and Lily's family is really excited to have me there and it makes me feel loved so much.