I'm writing with panic. I'm frustrated and I want to throw all my stuff away. I got a new super comfy mattress on a major sale which is good. I am sleeping in my new house, which is good, but I kind of fell like it's someone else's house still, and will for a few weeks I think. I miss Filmmaker, but whenever I do see him I don't want him. I'm confused. I am also so tired. Like so completely tired I need to cry. And the wireless card I need for my computer is discontinued and it's so upsetting. That's all I can muster without totally crying at work. And I'm at the work where I can't go hide and look awful afterwards.