Friday, April 13, 2007

collapse

I lost things today. I couldn't focus. I cried. I feel like my whole life right now is a result of mistakes. moving away with Titania and Chatton, quitting UBC, spending money. So I was sad at work, and sad on the bus home. But then I got home, nearly in tears of worry, exhaustion, failure, and I checked my mail. Inside was a parcel from England. And I cried. all the way to my apartment. And inside my apartment. I couldn't even open it.

But eventually I did. Crazy british candy/sweets I love, and a tiny goose stuffie wearing bunny ears. I cried a load more.

I avoided msn. I didn't answer my phone. I just zoned out with tv and reading about crafting. Lacking the energy to actually do any myself.

On the house front: I got a no from one I really wanted; I haven't heard from one I would be happy in; I will know tomorrow afternoon about a third one; I didn't go see one tonight; I will see another on Sunday if I need to.

I need to sleep. I will probably cry again. greif of all kinds is hitting me hard.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i remember when you were just in the throes of spending that inheritance and no matter how hard life is for you now, it did afford you alot of things.