first date?

All these question marks in post titles shoudl tell you something.

Yesterday was supposed to be my day off. Instead I spent from 8 am to 3:30 between my two jobs. I wondered if I have made the right decision about my career, needing to love it, needing it to be creating, and having those things at the expense of money. I was stressed. The I was a half hour late for my doctors appointment but she saw me anyways.

I also talked to midge a bit in the morning. I also realized that I didn't bring a shirt to wear at the gym so I had to buy one as I had a personal training appointment at 6:30. After my apoointment was over, I showered and got pretty because I was going to be meeting CRB.

We ended up going for drinks (which he payed completely for)and talking. After about 3 hours I was exhausted because it was way past my bed time and it had been a crazy day so I was just tired. And he could tell. I was also kind of drunk. I think he could also tell that.

So I guess the bottom line is that he really likes me still. He is recently broken up with his girlfriend, and they were living together so there's that situation still on going. I have no problems with exes usually, but ones that guys are still living with is a problem.

We talked a lot about our past and why things may not have ever happened at many points over the years. We also acknowledges that we weren't sure if we were meeting just to catch up, for a date, or to sleep together. Well there was no actual mention of sleeping together, but the suggestion was there and the touching preliminaries also were.

Today he asked if we could see each other but I am busy and we're both busy friday and saturday. He made it really clear he wants to see me again and soon. and for dating. seriously. it's strange. and I'm hesitant on so many levels, but no more hesitant than I would be with someone who I didn't have this huge history with.

I just don't want to end up in a relationship that I was never really fully committed to and then have to end it and have disasterous results.

When we were 12 I had no idea that he liked me nearly as much as he did. And he always felt he had lost and missed out on something major with me. That's strange to hear.