a proper morning

I actually got up at a time that was reasonable to when I have to leave the house. I've showered and am reading an article in a book that I have to return today. I will even maybe get to read an article in a another book so I can return it. I will definately be having an actual breakfast.

I haad dreams last night. Lots of stuff not related to eachother.

A giant party when I was really drunk an a friend was having problems with something.
The waitress at the bar not giving me what I ordered and refusing to give me the right thing.
My flatmate from home almost hooking up with young downstairs boy and it upsetting me.
Repetitively walking through a restaurant that was in a solarium type thing with lots of plants and yellow and blue and white. Italian or Greek food.
Being at my mothers flat the next morning and it's messy as if we've had a party there. My mother is out of town and I have to clean it up before we leave. People from my fun lecture are on the patio eating ice cream for breakfast. And the friend mentioned above is cooking mini hotdogs in a wok full of water and they keep falling out.
Talking with a guy in an expensive black car. I don't now what the topic was or who he was.

Interesting all around.

Upon my return

I am feeling much better now. We didn't actually watch the film because barely anyone showed up and we watch an episode of "Black Books" instead and went down to the pub and talked and stuff like that. Lily and Pink (a friend I have met through Lily) are going to get together and craft on Sunday which will be great fun. I met a new person who seems really cool, but we didn't talk all that much.

I saw stripedcoat for the first time since "the night" and it was a bit awkward at first and I knew it shouldn't be. By the end of the night we left together and he walked me to the bus stop on his way into town. I'd like to ask why he thought I wouldn't kiss him (It's true, but how did he know, because I didn't think anything about me was saying that because I wasn't thinking it) but it's not that important. I'm just glad we're starting to build an actual friendship.

I'm glad I walked there too. It took an hour and it was cold but Hawksley made me feel good and I did feel refreshed when I arrived. I ran into classclown as I was leaving and talked a bit, but I was being wierd because I was just in general feeling a bit off. I think it would be fun to go out with some of the people from that lecture. I know they sometimes hang out together, but because it's my only lecture with them, I'm a bit of an outsider.

I have tons of stuff to do tomorrow before heading into campus around 1:00 so I'm going to go to bed now so I can get up reasonably early. I feel like going out dancing but have no plans to until the 12th. Maybe I can convince Lily to go out next week after the film. Two bars have good nights on Wednesdays, but she's broke so we'll see. I want to go though.

On my way

Well, I am going to walk to the film tonight. It's kind of far, but I need the air I think. I'm taking my diskmac which I hardly ever do. (I want an ipod shuffle sooooo bad!) Hawksley Workman is in it. I have my hair tied up in a pony tail and my long bangs are kind of swept to the side, but mostly in my face. I'm wearing jeans and my new runners, with a blue shirt that's got a deep v-neck and is cut the same way in the back. I'm got a pink and blue arm warmer made by a wonderful woman on my arm. Almost completely jewerly free except the black plugs I always wear in my lobes (2ga).

I'm going to put a pink hoodie on under my black winter coat because it's cold out. I'm taking a small purse that I last used at campus 14 so it is covered in mud, but works best with the diskman. As for make-up, I've just got the standard light pink lip gloss and heavy matt black eyeshadow. It's my "I'm frustrated but want to have fun" look.

I've got to run if I'm going to make it on time.

Things change quickly

So I come home from doing research on a project I'm really enjoying and make some lunch and start looking for some images for the presentation. I'm doing good, am going to start doing vocabulary soon, am waiting to hear from Victoria when she's done work to decide if we'll walk or bus to the film. I'm eating the delicious Gingersnaps and throughly relaxed.

Then Victoria calls and says she's not coming tonight. Not a big deal because they're be a bunch of other poeple there I know (lily, scotsman and others) but it sours me. Then I get down on myself about boys and suddenly a good mood is less than present. It's all just stupid.

I'm irritated for myself for feeling this way.

Keeping it short

I'm not ready for the meeting I have today and I should have done work last night rather than waste the night away with whatever I did. When I get home I will work until I am leaving for the film.

Why is it that crap people get good partners? I know a few situations personally. How does this happen?

I need to shower and I have to leave in 30 minutes. I am so going to be late.

10 things I want

1. An ipod shuffle.

2. To feel the weight of a body on top of me when I orgasm.

3. To feel refreshed in the morning.

4. New ballet flats.

5. No money worries for the rest of the year.

6. To be told I'm beautiful.

7. Good final results.

8. Faster downloading net connection.

9. To have my hand held, and not just because we're drunk.

10. Free flights and accomodation to wherever I want for the next 4 months.

Inpsired by Lily

Well the below music stuff is. Tonight I am again going to bed early as I need the sleep. I still have some reading to do in the morning before a meeting with the people I'm doing my second and last presentation with. I am in bed, above the covers as I have been recently when writing at night. Green tank and white and pink thong. My hair is actually brished and straight and I'm not so sure I want to get it cut now. I'm not sure if I'm going to wank tonight and I may just go to sleep nice and early. If I do the clothes will not stay on. Maybe read a transcript or something.

How many total songs? 2125. Will be some new ones tomorrow though.

Sort by Song Title - first and last songs? "En Gallop" by Joanna Newsom (but that's itunes counting the quotation marks as first alphabetically so it doesn't really make sense.) and Zuton Fever by The Zutons

Sort by Time - first and last songs? Dig Your Grave by Modest Mouse (0:12) and River by Red House Painters (11:20)

Find 'sex.' How many songs show up? 32. Granted 16 of those are songs by a wonderful band called "Young and Sexy" and another 7 are from TLC's CrazySexyCool.

Find 'death.' How many songs show up? 3 and one is a track from the second romeo and Juliet soundtrack that is just the sounds of the death scene.

Find 'love.' How many songs show up? 126. But a few are because of album titles ( Hawksley Workman's Lover/Fighter: 12; Modest Mouse's Good News for People Who Love Bad News: 15; Simon Wilcox's Mongrel of Love: 8; and Copyright's Love Story:7) But a lot of them even so.

Secret: I've been thinking tonight about something I thought I wasn't going to. Hmmm.

number two

Remember cheap drunk? Well she has a fucking boyfriend and apparently he's an artist. (yes, that makes it so worse.) So the thing is that I really start to think something is wrong with me.

I mean she was boring and had no personality of her own, and if you liked something she liked it. Blah. Fucker. I think it's that I don't put out easily. I mean they work together. They went on one date, slept together and now they're a couple.

Fucking fuck.

Looking Upwards

I need lists when I'm stressed (but happy, I am feeling very happy).

1. ran into class clown on the way to Sainsbury's and updated him on the situation in the fun lecture this morning becasue he wasn't there. He "aww"ed at a couple hugging and kissing at the bus stop. I also found out he did theatre before uni. That is hot. A guy who has been involved in performing arts, even behind scenes, gets points with me. He also lived in asia for several months on a gap year. hot.

I actually think that's all I wanted to say. No further list. I bought a bunch of crap at Sainsbury's. Snack food and nothing to really make a meal. I'll have to go again tomorrow for proper food.

more than a day

Well I am shocked and calm and happy and disgusted all at once. That's really how the day's been.

1. The prof in fun lecture had a bit of a meltdown today and it was not cool.

2. Presentation 1 is done and I have one less thing to do.

3. Ran into Victoria, am going to a film tomorrow and the Canadian government owes me a bunch of money.

4. the flatmates are messy and it could be meat related an it upsets me a lot.

I've got to go to a payphone now where I can call collect and talk to my boss from home and see about working when I get home. I also have to go to Sainsbury's and grab some food to eat tonight. I have lots of work tonight but luckily I don't have to be up early tomorrow. I have no lectures tomorrow, but a meeting for a presentation that's next week. My nerves are a bit on edge, but I'm still smiling.