running the race

Well I'm exhausted.

I didn't have an infection of any kind. They didn't know what's wrong. the lump got worse and very painful. It's getting a bit smaller but very slowly and it's much less painful. Last night was the first night in weeks I haven't taken advil to fall asleep. Today is the first day I haven't taken it to be able to get started with my day. The lump is still there though.

Things with Filmmaker are good. I took a few days away from him but then I wanted him back. We talked and I told him I was irritated about the computer thing, and the dinner, and just stress in general. And shared some fears about feeling like I won't be able to really connect with anyone. It helped and we are good now. Really good.

I'm stressed about money as usual, but it's my rent that's too much and I don't really have any options when it comes to movie.

So then there's the job situation. HK inc is stressful and leaves me frustrated 99% of the time. I've been working short training shifts at a mineral make-up kiosk in a mall. The pay is low, it's been slow the times I've been there and I feel like a failrue for this being all I got, and for not selling anything yet. I would get commission, but I'm not selling anything yet.

But then, The woman from the salon job I really wanted weeks ago called today. She wants me to have one shift a week plus filling in on days. It's not a,lot, but it's got tons of advancement potential, and at least it pays decently. I'm going there to do some training today.

But with that, I have to go. I have to change and put make-up on. Tonight I am going to just stay home and relax my ass off. Same with tomrrow probably. And craft. I have a blanket I need to finish.