Sunny

I should clarify that the pervious title wasn't "Bitch" as in "Chatton is one" but rather "I need to...".

I know that it's partly me that keeps me single but it's just emphasised when other people get coupled. It's not me becasue I don't think I'm good enough but that I have issues and they keep me distanced from people for many reasons. And it's not that Chatton is suddenly coupled again. She's still single and just kind of seeing Grey - the first week/make-out session is always the most exciting and now it's over. I was just frustrated by someone else being over so much when I couldn't do anything other than be here and sit. But Chatton has spent much time keeping me company since Sunday and I've relaxed. Not that I didn't have a reason to be irritated but I shouldn't have let it get to me like I did. For my sake. I need to keep things calm to keep my sanity.

I'm feeling like I have to defend myself some how. Just the injury, suddenly move, knitter being gay, registering for school, cutting my hair, has all happened in about two weeks and it's a lot of stuff. Lots of good stuff but that's stress too and stress is not something I deal with well. I'm emotional and it's always hightened because it's loaded with so much sadness about so many things. One more thing like feeling lonely just makes it that much bigger when that alone isn't really the issue.

And I do want to have someone. I want the hand holding and the flirting. I'm happy without it, but I'm sometimes ready for it all and it's frustrating at those times when I can't figure uot how it's all going to happen. But enough for now.

The Knitter sent us the best and sweetest postcards and I'm so happy to make him our friend it's not even funny. He needs some confidence to see how super cool he is and some sense of fun infused into him more. Maybe I'm trying to turn his dorkiness into craziness but it's really way more fun that way. Plus, I do think he has it all in him.

I must go do the next step of dinner. Then back to crafting. Today has been good and tomorrow I go to work and feel stressed for a few hours. Last time for the week though.