Unsent Letter

CRB,

Fuck you and your fucking meaningless texts. I don't care that we're not dating or fucking. I don't accept this sort of confusing/rude behaviour from any of my friends and I am not going to start making exceptions for you. I am mad that I let myself be open to you. I am mad that I miss you. I am mad that you made me want to be happier again. I am mad that being with you made me want to have sex.

If you didn't want to see me anymore I was perfectly fine accepting that. We're really different people and that's fine. I just don't understand anything and I don't feel like you're being the least bit honest with me. Your behaviour and words aren't consistant over time or even at the same time.

I guess I was wrong in thinking that you had grown up or that you were worth the work. I was so willing to really be present and open with you with very little expectations. It's so unfortunate that my expectation of being treated with respect is apparently too much for you.

You were so concerned about "fucking this up" but you have. I am so sorry it is turning out this way. I am really disappointed. Not in you, but just in things. I feel really let down by someone I really honestly wanted and enjoyed in my life.