Action/Inaction

I just bought a little hand vaccum and it makes me happy. My house feels cleaner.

I went out with Miranda and that was good. I didn't talk at all about me being shallow but we did talk in general about me dating and The Filmmaker. While we were wandering the Bay looking for a dress for Miranda the Filmmaker called. He wanted to know what I was doing tomorrow but I already have plans with Blondie. But I was kind of distracted (by black velvet blazers) and said I was busy and got some bad news that left me a little scatterered and would be in touch.

After coming home and thinking about it I felt kind of like I appeared to brush him off. I didn't think that was very nice because I will see him again, I'm just busy. If I'm going to do this whole dating thing I should at least be honest if I don't intend on seeing someone again.

So I called him back (a few hours later) to explain a bit. I kept it really short (really, I did!) and said that my mom might be sick and that my dad died just over a year ago and that the news had left me a little fucked up. I didn't mention that my dads death lead to my going a bit crazy and I'm worried I will react similarly if things with my mom progess negatively but it's true. He said he understood and that I should just call him when I have some time and want to do coffee or a movie.

He also said that he "really liked" me and wanted to see me again. OK, I believe it's true and possible, but I think the part that concerns me is how he knows so soon. I just can't say that about someone after meeting them once. I mean this morning to Miranda I could say things like "He seems smart so far" and "he's really into film, which is good, but has a generic taste in music". I mean he's nice but I couldn't say I really like him in any way.

must go and eat before Orange gets here. We're going to Value Village tonight.