Crazy makers

1. I am still so confused about work. I know I haven't really gone into it here, but it's a major problem.

2. I can't make outgoing phone calls because I haven't paid my phone bill in two months. Luckily I can still text though.

3. Even though I get two pay cheques on Friday I still can't afford to pay my phone bill.

4. My mind will not stop thinking about anything. everything. both things.

5. I'm getting weighed and measured in two weeks. It makes me want to do cardio every day and only eat protein shakes, salads and baked tofu.

6. I'm pre-menstrual which means I want to be chewing on something constantly. Especially good if it's something sweet.

7. Eating sweet things makes me want to eat salty things. The opposite is also true.

8. Being pre-menstrual also makes me want to fuck a lot. The vividness of this mornings dream is still with me.

9. I didn't do anything to clean my room today. And even made a bigger mess by setting my sewing machine up on the floor to hem pants.

10. I didn't craft today. I contemplated sewing but doing it on my floor is not good for my back.

11. Working with my trainer today was awesome and I'm really going to miss having her once I've used all my sessions.

12. I'm going to a big dinner/dance party next Friday with a load of people I don't know. I wish I had money to get some new clothes.

13. I'm also worried about going and getting drunk or feeling insecure, or not being outgoing enough, or bailing entirely and only staying for dinner.

14. I want to dance. I have all this energy and I don't know where it came from or where it's going to go.

15. I am not letting myself be sick. I am in refuse to really acknowledge that I might have a cold because I simply don't have time for one.

16. There's a concert next week I really want to go to but I can't for a host of frustrating reasons.

17. I want to spend a day hanging out and taking pictures and dancing and laughing and just being silly.

ok, I might be done now. Despite all of this I don't feel the least bit depressed or down or whatever. I am beyond energized and hope getting some of this out will make it easier to sleep. When really I want to go play on swings or something. And be loud. but fun loud.