two hours sleep

Yesterday after class most of us went over to one of my classmates house and got super drunk. Some key words (not all directly involved me): kissing, games, hickeys, whips, fetish, secrets, confessions, bonding, music, trust, breasts. A mis of things really. pretty crazy but also pretty amazing. I wasn't expecting the praise (of my body and personality) that I received from them at all. It felt kind of awesome.

But then, the most major thing. I called the Filmmaker, who happened to be downtown, and so he came to the house. He ended up walking one classmate to the skytrain because she was so drunk, then cabbing home with me and two others. He stayed with me and we watched movies until 6:40 am. I told him it was time to leave because I had to be at school at 9:30. There was some very minimal kissing involved.

So what does this mean? I know that he is now "the guy I'm dating". He knows I want proceed cautiously and I'm sorting my feelings out as I go. I pretty much ignored him at the party and he seemed to fend pretty well. He talked to people and most of the drunken reports were positive. I am still a little concerned that I'm not feeling that excited and that I'm hesitant but I'm working through it. I really want to make sure that if I end it I'm doing it because I don't feel things for him, rather than becasue I'm scared.