Delayed thoughts

Another dream about making out last night but I don't remeber who it involved and someone was irritated with me about it (not the person I was making out with). I wish I could just have normal sex dreams like everyone else.

London was fun. I mean nothing really exciting happened. A went to museums, though not as many as I had planned, and they were good as expected. I totally stayed on budget despite shoes and a relatively expensive dinner on Saturday. I hhad met some people I know from a community and it was lots of fun. We went out for a bit afterwards, but I left fairly early with some others becasue I was staying in HIghgate and wasn't sure which night bus to take. I was also tired and a bit headachy.

I think it's just how I felt being there. Like it was al very natural. The tube, the train, the parks. It's hard to explain. I just felt happy and that made the weekend great. I guess it's so nice to be able to go to London for weekends, but in the back of my head I know that soon it will be impossible.

I have this compulsion with eating. Because I don't eat meat I am kind of obsessed with liking everything else. I was like this as a child to and I did eat meat then so who knows. There are very few foods I don't like or will not try now with only the meat exceptions. That's probably why I'm so distressed by my bodies sudden distaste for eggs and other animal by-product items.

When I was young I didn't like squash. My parents cooked it a lot though and everytime they did I'd eat some. It wasn't becasue they made me, I like vegetables so it's not like I was forced to eat stuff, but because I wanted to like it. I mean they liked it so what was my body/head not getting about how good the stuff was? SO everytime I could eat squash I'd have a tiny bit. Now I love the stuff and make tons of stuff with it.

Anyway, my current food challenges are olives and beets. I have never liked either. I can now handle olives on pizza usually and in pasta sauces where they're well mixed in. Beets are a challenge. Once I went to a friends for dinner and she had put beets in the salad. I didn't tell her I didn't like them and ate them. Luckily they were big and I only had two when I served myself. They weren't bad but I wasn't hooked. Another time we were at her's and making salad and they were shredding beats for the salad. We had been drinking a bit while cooking and I told them how I hated beats but I wanted to like them and to put them in the salad anyways.

Olives are another story. I had a friend from hom visiting me and we were going to make burritos for dinner. She grabbed a jar of olives and I told her i didn't like them, but wanted to, so we'd just chop them up and it'd work. So we got to the flat and she was cooking and I took a whole olive right out of the jar and with lots of courage I ate it. It wasn't that bad but I said I wouldn't do it again. I did like them mixed in with the burritos though. Another night we were out for dinner and there were whole olives in my salad and I ate them all. I was actually proud of myself. Then at dinner this Saturday olives were part of the bread and humous starte and I ate three of them. 2 green and a black. I am seriously proud of myself.

Another think I don't eat is coffee. I guess I don't drink it. When I meet people for coffee I either have a hot chocolate or a steam soy milk with vanilla. I don't really like the smell of it and am supposed to limit my caffine intake as much as possible because of the anxiety. So this weekend I was staying at a woman house who I hadn't met and in the morning she asked if I wanted coffe and I thought I said "no, tea please" but she proceeded to make only coffee. Well I should couldn't stand to correct her so I was served coffee. I drank the whole thing and even had another cup the next morning. It didn't wake me up that much or anything, but wasn't as bad as I remembered it. I won't start drinking it now though, it wasn't that good.

That plus the beautiful shoes and great museums is all I need to be happy with a weekend in London.

Another thing was that she had a son who was 17 and he was really hot. As 17 year old boys tend to be he was a bit withdrawn. He came home around 2 am on friday which was an hour earlier than he had said. We were still up talking in the kitchen. Me and he had talkind about all kinds of things that night and when she asked he son if he had been smoking any pot he looked at me and was pretty caught off guard. He does, but said he hadn't that night. He did say he had drank 9 pints that night though.

Fuck, it just started to rain. I want sun. I had corn fritters that were on sale at sainsbury's yesterday and they were good. I'm hungry now but am not sure what I want to eat. I've got stuff though. I had my first orgasm in days yesterday (I tend not to wank in other peoples houses unless they're involved, or I'm drunk, horny and sleeping there) and that was quite good. The bateries in my vibe are running low though and I'm out of new ones, so I must buy some. Hopefully I can get by until my papers done becasue I really need to stay home until it is. That's silly. My hands are fine, they just take longer, but I have the other toy in incorporate now too.

I did have other things to say yesterday but blogger had fucked up and I don't rememebr them now. I might go to some writing or I might waste some more time. In any case I'll be around.