welcome home?

Seeing someone from home is weird. It makes me not want to go home even more than before. It makes me love who I am here and fear that I'm going to lose all of what has happened these last 7 months the moment I stepped off the plane. I can't really explain too much now and I need to think about it once she's gone. My mother is with me until Saturday when we go to London for her flight.

I had fun and saw lots of stuff but have no fun stories to share. I hid my sex toys and it feels sad or something. I feel like I have to move when I get home but I can't really afford to live anywhere other than where I am now. I feel taller and thinner and prettier in my little citty in England. Desireable might even be the word but I didn't feel that while traveling as much.

This is all a little inchoherant right now but I don't know what's going on and it makes me want to cry a little bit. I might just have to accept some loses when I get home to have the life I want. I don't know. I'm confused. Maybe this is what happens when i don't wank for 10 days and know I won't for another 6. I'm mostly kidding about that but needed to lighten things up a bit.

I'll be around this week but not tons as my mom is here and I have work to do for my lectures. I didn't do as much over break as I should have.