is alone good?

I'm back at home and my mom should be landing in Vancouver in the next hour or so. Lots of stuff in my head but nothing I'm going to bore you all with. I thought about the boy from decemeber, the confusing relationship boy and class clown today. I also had some intense dreams I don't remember. I think there's just lots of emotions right now and I've just got to push through it all becasue that's all I can do.

I'm happy to get to sleep in my bed tonight and the toys are out from their hiding spot and in their end-table home. I may use one tonight but more out of a tension reliever than anything. It depends. I am feeling a bit loney and wanking sometimes makes it worse. The lonliness is just a skewed perspective though and confusion about my life and having the feeling like the next two years of my life will be temorary and unsettled and I'll meet people and leave them and that's that.

ah, I did say I wouldn't go into this. Hopefully tomorrow I wake up a bit refreshed. I do think my mood is partly due to tiredness because I've been getting up at 7:30 am almost everyday for the last two weeks and that is not something my body likes to do.

I have thoughts of writing something that might be far tto much information about stuff relating to sex drive and the new (and wonderfully working) menstrual cup, but I'll spare the details for now. But umm, it's different and good. I'll expend if there are requests or something. maybe.