Thursday, February 17, 2005

dreams and toys

I'm still feeling a little down today. Maybe that the clouds and rain have returned and that I had two weird dreams. While three weird ones but two of them worry me as bit.

So the first dream involved a lot of stuff. Up until a few years ago I was a dancer and had been since I was a young child. I stopped because with work and stuff I couldn't commit the time I needed to and an injury I had had not healed very well. So in the dream I was in the dance studio where I spent tons of my time. There were other people there and the mood was happy but I don't recall much else. Then I remember being on a crowded train. It was more a public transit type train than a long distance train in appearance, but we had been travelling a long time. I was talking to a guy about dance, becasue he danced as well and was really quite good, but had very little formal training. So I was telling him about some of the training I had with slightly famous dancers and he kept getting closer to me. And soon, as I was talking, our lips were touching really lightly and I could feel his breathing. He started to kiss me and I didn't pull away, but I kind of resisted by continuing to try to talk. I wanted to kiss him but I was nervous. He then put a hand on my waist and told me too relax and I kind of did and stopped talking and started kissing him.

Then I heard the anoucement that our stop was next. we stopped kissing and I got off thinking he was behind me. I walked through the station and when I got in the queue for something I realized he was not with me and I couldn't find him anywhere. I also knew he had never been where we were before or how to get where we were going. Next thing I remember is sitting in the parking lot of a gass station that is right near the dance studio. It's night time and a few other people are sitting with me. We're all watching something and the ground is hardwood rather than concrete, but we're still outside the gas station. Then the boy I was kissing comes up beside me and sits down, not saying anything so as to not interrupt whatever we were doing. He write his phone number down on a piee of paper and hands it to me. I do the same but write but my UK and Canadian numbers down for him.

The next dream actually occured before the last one I think, or maybe even within it, I was trying to cook my favorite meal but I was doing it in the mmicrowave which would be impossible. I ran out of an igredient I really needed and was concerned about what I was going to do.

I woke up and check my email and stuff about now, but realized I was still tired so I went back to bed. This dream involved going to get my hair cut. I'm really confused about how this one went, but I went to go get my hair cut and I told them what I actually wnt in really life. The women looked and criticized my colour a bit, which I agree with, my colour needs to be touched up. Then she statred cutting my hair. Halfway through I saw myself in a mirror (she kept moving me around in my chair so I couldn't see the mirror) she has completely ignored what I said. My hair is like Uma Thurman's in Pulp Fiction. Pretty, but not on me. I freak out and the laugh asking what's wrong and saying that it looks good. I am crying and yelling and I can't understand why she did exactly what I didn't want and that I don't care how it looks.

Then a man who works at the salon get's me to calm down and I show him all my make-up (don't know why I had it with me) but it's in the same case I keep it all in, but the case has become the size of a suitcase and also includes a bunch of my clothes. Eventually I realize it's getting late and I ask him to just finish my hair cut so I can leave. I'm also irritated that he's opening all my eye shadows and putting his fingers on them. He says he won't finish my cut because I don't like it. I start to cry and well again because I'd rather have a finished cut I hate, than my hair half cut. I eventualy sorm out with all my stuff and all the employees are laughing at me like I'm totally unreasonable and silly. As as I leave I started to hope it's all a dream and trying to convince myself it must be becasue I would never let anyone do this to my hair. It's felt so real though and I was seeing people I know and I start to cry again because I have short hair anf fring and it's awful. Then I wake up.

So that's that. Boy anxiety that seems to turn out well and hair anxiety that goes horribly wrong.

As for the toys, I think I'm going to get one fo the rippled plugs and maybe even the smartballs too. I've wanted them for a while. I'm in no rush right now, especially considering my mood has my libido a bit dormant. I've also decided I am not feeling good enough, physically or mentally to go to lectures today. I't sbad, but I need to stay in.

10 comments:

Delgar said...

But on the plus side that means I can harass you all day! Of course your day is almost over and mines just begining.

Celia said...

That's true but be gentle. I'm not feeling super resiliant.
And my day is hardly almost over, I'm only five hours ahead so it's just the afternoon.

Delgar said...

I'm always gentle. :)

Delgar said...

Hmm let's see, I have you all to myself today. What shall I do.

Well, how come it's been four years since your last serious relationship? Have you not been looking? Just waiting for Mr. Right to end up in your lap?

Are you in Grad School? Or still doing Undergrad? Is it an exchange program/study abroad program?

Gentle right?

Delgar said...

Hmm perhaps while I wait, I shall try to turn you on a bit. Here's a little bit of English History:

The English chemist and physicist Michael Faraday, b. Sept. 22, 1791, d. Aug. 25, 1867, is known for his pioneering experiments in electricity and magnetism. Many consider him the greatest experimentalist who ever lived. Several concepts that he derived directly from experiments, such as lines of magnetic force, have become common ideas in modern physics.
Faraday was born at Newington, Surrey, near London. He received little more than a primary education, and at the age of 14 he was apprenticed to a bookbinder. There he became interested in the physical and chemical works of the time. After hearing a lecture by the famous chemist Humphry Davy, he sent Davy the notes he had made of his lectures. As a result Faraday was appointed, at the age of 21, assistant to Davy in the laboratory of the Royal Institution in London.

During the initial years of his scientific work, Faraday occupied himself mainly with chemical problems. He discovered two new chlorides of carbon and succeeded in liquefying chlorine and other gases. He isolated benzene in 1825, the year in which he was appointed director of the laboratory.

Davy, who had the greatest influence on Faraday's thinking, had shown in 1807 that the metals sodium and potassium can be precipitated from their compounds by an electric current, a process known as electrolysis. Faraday's vigorous pursuit of these experiments led in 1834 to what became known as Faraday's laws of electrolysis.

Faraday's research into electricity and electrolysis was guided by the belief that electricity is only one of the many manifestations of the unified forces of nature, which included heat, light, magnetism, and chemical affinity. Although this idea was erroneous, it led him into the field of electromagnetism, which was still in its infancy. In 1785, Charles Coulomb had been the first to demonstrate the manner in which electric charges repel one another, and it was not until 1820 that Hans Christian Oersted and Andre Marie Ampere discovered that an electric current produces a magnetic field. Faraday's ideas about conservation of energy led him to believe that since an electric current could cause a magnetic field, a magnetic field should be able to produce an electric current. He demonstrated this principle of induction in 1831. Faraday expressed the electric current induced in the wire in terms of the number of lines of force that are cut by the wire. The principle of induction was a landmark in applied science, for it made possible the dynamo, or generator, which produces electricity by mechanical means.

Faraday's introduction of the concept of lines of force was rejected by most of the mathematical physicists of Europe, since they assumed that electric charges attract and repel one another, by action at a distance, making such lines unnecessary. Faraday had demonstrated the phenomenon of electromagnetism in a series of experiments, however. This experimental necessity probably led the physicist James Clerk Maxwell to accept the concept of lines of force and put Faraday's ideas into mathematical form, thus giving birth to modern field theory.

Faraday's discovery (1845) that an intense magnetic field can rotate the plane of polarized light is known today as the Faraday effect. The phenomenon has been used to elucidate molecular structure and has yielded information about galactic magnetic fields.

Faraday described his numerous experiments in electricity and electromagnetism in three volumes entitled Experimental Researches in Electricity (1839, 1844, 1855); his chemical work was chronicled in Experimental Researches in Chemistry and Physics (1858). Faraday ceased research work in 1855 because of declining mental powers, but he continued as a lecturer until 1861. A series of six children's lectures published in 1860 as The Chemical History of a Candle, has become a classic of science literature.

Celia said...

I'll post about my lack of relationships after lunch. (yes, I realize it's after 4:00 my time)

I am still in Undergrad and hope to start grad school in Fall of 2007. It's really far away and means I'll have spent 6 years on my undergrad but I've decided to do a double major which means I have to do more than I first planned on and my first three years were part time and not always fully commited to my degree subject.

I'm in England on Exchange, hence the going home in July. I think the fact that I have an official flight booked is one of the things that's got me wierd today. I would stay at this school for the rest of my degree if I could, but I will be coming back to England or Europe for my graduate work.

Delgar said...

That's alright, I spent 5 on my undergrad and only got a single degree. Then I spent another three in grad school to get my Masters.

8 years of University, that's a long time. But it was fun, I enjoyed it. Although I wish I was a more outgoing person at the time. Perhaps I could have had me some casual sex.

Man I need to stop thinking about sex, I have work to do today.

Celia said...

I am now reading "The Chemical History of a Candle" rather than doing vocabulary. I'm an arts major, so it's just me being a nerd. and avoiding my dictionary.

I am way more outgoing here than at home because I have no choice. At home I don't have be be that outgoing because I have a bunch of friends and don't really need more so I never try to make new friends unless they are friends of a friend. Here I didn't know a single person and really had to be more outgoing. It's worked pretty well I think and has been a lot of fun if not occasionally difficult and stressful.

What was your masters subject?

Delgar said...

Well as an Organic Chemist there really isn't a subject so much as either a methodology or a synthesis.

In my case I was doing methodology. Which is to try and come up with a new way of making a series of molecules. In my case I designed a novel approach to the synthesis of Indoles and Carbazoles. Nothing too exciting, but it worked, I successfully defended my thesis and I'm now working in my field.

Although, while I'm working I'm chatting with you and for some reason I can't get the image of the toys out of my head. You are an evil, evil woman, thank god we've moved on to another subject!

Delgar said...

There you go, I have now added your site to my list of links. Now you'll be recieving tons of traffic! Not really, but hey who needs more traffic when you have a Panda that just won't shut up right?