end of the night

Well I'm in bed now after a very nice bath. I want to fall asleep before 12:30 tonight but I have some things to do first. They involve changing batteries.

I was in my fun lecture today. (The one with Elliot and Paul- it's the only lecture I have where we all talk and communicate because of the nature of the material, rather than just sit and listen to the prof. I love all my subjects, but I usually have active fun in this one even though it is by far my most complicated and challenging.) We were talking for some reason about heaven and hell which is weird now that I try to remember why it came up becasue it has nothing to do with the material.

Now I grew up not knowing religion. My mom went to a first united church sometimes when I was a child but I never had to go. I understand Chatolisism from a historic and artistic perspective becasue of what I study. I do not believe in any of it, or even the principle of organized religion. I was in theory understand why people do, But I don't. I don't even know if I believe in a sort of 'higher-power' or anything. I'm not in a place where it's an important thing for me to have a specific view.

So the prof asks who thinks they're going to Hell. The funny guy raises his hand but no one else that I noticed did. Then She asked why the rest of us aren't. Is it because we don't believe in Hell or because we're good. I didn't even hesitate to say that I don't believe. However, I would have added in a non-academic context, that if I am wrong, and there is a heaven and Hell, I am most certainly going to hell. And it's not because I've done anything particularly bad, I just do what I want.

One day I should find out my current purity test score. I may have only had myself to experiment/gain points with in the last few years, but I think I have. Kind of related, I wish I could give prizes out. I really need to think of something that easy for me, but good for you. Crap, this has taken more time that I thought it would and now I have less time to enjoy the process of falling asleep with a content feeling.

Lsat thing, I promise: I know I have an attachment to my vibe, when I have a pile of batteries that are half used up. Fuck, I have so many ideas of how people could get prizes, but I need to think of a fucking prize. Do I swear too much? Is it unbecoming? Lord, I think to much. I've got to go. The stress of reading, lack of sleep, and lack of recent drunkenness is really taking it's toll on me.