Hypotheticals

Tonight I am progressing well with the crafts. It's actually a gift for Lily because I will miss her birthday because it's after I leave. I will give it to her well before I leave though, just because it will be done and I won't be able to not give it to her. I've also been eating these giant cookies from Sainsbury's. They are white chocolate chip and I could only eat two because they are so sweet and chewy.

I am also thinking of things because that what happens when I craft. I was thinking earlier this afternoon of what stripedcoat said about not letting him kiss me. I was also thinking just a bit ago about new years boy who said I slept with him. And all this in combination with the offer/request in the comments and I wonder if maybe I'm all talk and no action. I guess in a way I definitely am all talk right now, but not because I don't want to be action.

When I found out what new years boy had said I really didn't give a shit. I actually started heavily fantasizing about it. Not what if we had slept together there, or if he had come home with me, or even if he had called. I considered what I would do if I saw him again. Though I wasn't likely to see him just by chance, the likelihood of running into him at another party was high because his sister was really close with one of my best friends at the time, and it was this friends house where 90% of our parties were held.

Anyways, it was in this time that one of my favorite fantasies developed. It's not something I think about too often now, but when I do...um, it's good. So the premise is basically that we're kind of shocked to see each other and trying to talk a bit and people are watching us because they know what happened. It makes us both a bit weird and when we can't find any empty room we go into the bathroom. There is another one, so it's not a big deal.

We start talking and getting reaquainted because we didn't really the first time we met and natuarally we start making out. We realize we should probably get back to the party because people expect me to be out there and playing games or something. We start kissing again instead though. I think he's about to stop again to leave but instead he whispers in my ear that he wants to cum on me before we go back out. I'm not really sure what to say but I'm game and I want to spend the rest of the night with a constant physical reminder of what will occur after we leave together.

Time is of the essence though. I pull my skirt up around my waist and take my knickers off. I also take my shirt off and am already braless (this is fairly normal if I'm drunk, explanation another time). I sit on the edge of the tub and start lightly touching my own breasts and nipples. He takes his already mostly hard cock out of his jeans and slowly starts stroking it. He's standing in front of me as close to me as he can get. His pace picks up as one of my hands moves down to my waiting cunt. We're staring at eachother and within a few short minutes his cum is landing on breasts and stomach.

He puts his cock back in his jeans and leans down to kiss me. I haven't come yet but am perfectly happy with what has occured. As we kiss he rubs his cum over my skin a bit and tells me to put my shirt back on. I put the shirt back on over my cum covered torso. It's a bit uncomfortable but I'm not the least bit concerned. I pull my skirt back down, we wash our hands, kiss some more and leave. I try to go unnoticed to the room where my purse is so that I can put my kinckers in it, but a friend finds me there and asks what's going on. I just smile and tell her things are fine and I'll give her details over lunch tomorrow. She tells me that I better and we both rejoin the party.

So this is all great in theory but would I really do this? In the right conditions I totally think I would. In others I wouldn't even consider it. I saw this guy exactly one year later and reacted bad because I didn't recognize him and felt pretty stupid. Then he avoided me even when I wanted to talk to him. I would for sure consider playing this little episode out at a party I felt super confortable at and with a guy I felt the same way with.

But why you ask was I think about this while crafting in my flat. Well, you see the offer mentioned far above is tempting as hell and I'm avoiding it. Pretty much exactly what I'd do in real life. Why am I avoiding it? Because I'd like to do it in theory, but I'm wondering if the reality is ok. Not so much whether I really want to do it, because I do, but whether it's ok to. And it should be ok, but I'm preoccupied about how others will see accepting, and what it means in terms of who I am and all those other things. Maybe it's crossing a line into things that are too private for me. I'm not sure yet but I'm thinking about it.

Maybe it kind of highlights that I'm alone and have no one to do many of the things I want to with. I'm really not sure, but I'm try to sort it out. And if it keeps making me think about fantasies I haven't considered recently like the one with new years boy, I'm really quite happy just thinking about it.