So I really should be doing stuff for school right now. I am in the library waiting for another library to open in over an hour. I will do some work though before I leave. I was going to go buy shoes today, but I'm tired (what's new) and don't feel like going into the city.
But what I am here to post about is why I'm not getting laid. In way that is a choice for me and it's because I'm not in a relationship or even dating anyone. So for me, the real question is why am I not in a relationship. But that is something I'm not going to into at the moment. What I am going to continue to explain here now is why I consider myself to be making a decision to not get laid because even I see why people think it's a silly decision.
Also, while I don't think casual sex works for me (I can't say for absolute certain becasue I've never done it) I don't think it's bad in theory. I have friends who have regularly partiipated in it. Some had no problems, some had problems immediately and some had problems later. I really think it dependins on the person adn the exact situation.
1. I like to know the people I'm sleeping with. Like not just their name and where they work or whatever, but know some things about who they are and what they think. In a way, and to a degree, I think if you know a bit about the personality of a person, you're going to have better sex. Obviously that's not universally true though.
2. I am really reserved with new people and I don't want to be reserved while having sex. I'm just shy and cautious. I don't want to be hurt and I don't want to regret sleeping with someone. To make sure those things don't happen I have to know and like someone. I will seldomly be comfortable with a person after one meeting even in terms of having a conversation, no matter sleeping with them and being my somewhat-dirty self.
3. Here's some of the insecurity reasons. It is always said that girls can always get laid but here's the thing. What if I try and I can't? I mean holy fucking shit, imagine what that would do to my self-esteem. I mean I know I'm not perfect looks-wise, but I know I'm not awful. But if I couldn't get laid while trying to offer that with no strings that would be fucking sad.
4. I also don't want to be someone that a boy decides to hook up with in the middle of the end of the night while drunk and horny. It's like being a consolation prize. They couldn't find anyone they actually liked but want to like laid so they just pick anyone. I don't want to be the girl chosen by that guy. I don't respect that guy.
5. I'm surprisingly not that sexually frustrated. I mean yes I wanted to get laid (see many drunk entries) but not just to cum and them move one, which is really how I see casual sex. It's very selfish (not neccessarily bad) for both people involved and I can be that selfish without involving someone else. I want to have sex I want it to be multi-dimensional. (Again exceptions to this and yes, I know that can happen in relationships too, but it's not what I want for myself.)
Before I go I want to emphasize, that while lots of this might sound judgemental it's really not. I understand it in theory, but I have seen some very bad situations in practice, so I do admit to being a bit hesitant in terms of respect but it all depends on the person and how they deal with it on their own terms.
Well that's some of what I think about this whole isse. I am starving but I don't want to buy lunch on campus. I want to go to the CD libaray and then get home and eat. I also have to check my bank balance. I'm concerned about money.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
killing time
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12 comments:
I understand where your coming from.
Now about this toy, what are your options?
and I thought you we're reading for my personality...
Oh wait did I give off that vibe?
I'm reading it all, but I'm curious about the toy.
I totally understand the no casual sex thing, of course you can't knock till you've tried it right? But you are totally right, sex without feelings is just sex. It can be good, but sex with feelings can be amazing.
So about that toy? :)
I promise that I was happily giggling as I wrote the last comment.
Hey baby, I love you for your mind, but I just can't stop looking at your ass. :)
Well I'm glad I could make you giggle, but we were talking about a toy I believe?
Do you mean going to find casual sex? Because the thing is I don't want it. I wouldn't go look for it ever.
Or do you mean relationships? Because I go out often enough and meet people and talk, it's just getting to that next stage. But that's partly my fault too. More to follow in a post.
Also, my breasts are almost always on display, whether through cleavage or just becasue of their size. I like it that way though.
Last place you want to find a guy is in a bar.
Find some nice geek on campus, he'll treat you right.
Trust me. :)
I'd date a guy I met in a bar but I don't go looking for it. I go to get smashed and hang out with friends.
And the dorkier the better really. People who can go on and on about obscure things really get me. Tropical fish, history, physics, doesn't matter. I don't even have to be interested, it just makes me so hot listenting to it.
Ok. must. do. work. now.
Did you know that:
Max Planck came from an academic family, his father Julius Wilhelm Planck being Professor of Constitutional Law in the University of Kiel at the time of his birth, and both his grandfather and great-grandfather had been professors of theology at Göttingen. His mother, Emma Patzig, was his father's second wife. Both Max's parents were relatively old when he was born, his father being 41 and his mother being 37. He was born into a large family, being his father's sixth child (two of the children were from his first marriage to Mathilde Voigt), and he was brought up in a tradition which greatly respected scholarship, honesty, fairness, and generosity. The values he was given as a young child quickly became the values that he would cherish throughout his life, showing the utmost respect for the institutions of state and church.
Max began his elementary schooling in Kiel. In the spring of 1867 his family moved to Munich when his father was appointed Professor there. This city provided a stimulating environment for the young boy who enjoyed its culture, particularly the music, and loved walking and climbing in the mountains when the family took excursions to Upper Bavaria. He attended secondary school there, entering the famous Maximilian Gymnasium in May 1867. He did well at school, but not brilliantly, usually coming somewhere between third and eighth in his class. Music was perhaps his best subject and he was awarded the school prize in catechism and good conduct almost every year. One might have expected him to excel in mathematics and science, but certainly in his early school years, although he did well, there was no sign of outstanding talent in these subjects. However, towards the end of his school career, his teacher Hermann Müller raised his level of interest in physics and mathematics, and he became deeply impressed by the absolute nature of the law of conservation of energy. A school report for 1872 reads:-
Justifiably favoured by both teachers and classmates ... and despite having childish ways, he has a very clear, logical mind. Shows great promise.
what is it that you do all day that's allows all these comments?
And um, ya. exactly like that. technical language is good too. And no that's not a hint/request. I have work to do.
I work in a lab, so I occasionally have boughts of free time.
To which I ammuse myself with non-chemistry related activities.
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