Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Appropriate Reaction

My flight went well and after I saw my om and sister and complained about how dirty and tired and ill I felt after not sleepin in nearly 30 hours and still wearing the same clothes it happened. My mom told me something I possibly suspected: My father had died that afternoon.

I'm doing well considering the emotions from that, leaving England without says goodbye to anyone expect Lily and arriving home. I think some people seem to be worried I'm underreating and a bit too stable for everything but I have my reasons. I have talked them out with a few different friends (Midge, Titania and Chatton) and they all think that I'm ok so far.

I haven't decided yet whether I am going to talk about it much, or even more than just this, here. I could use the space to openly vent and get some stuff out but I guess it's still really new and extremely surreal. Plus it's feels a litle distant from my original subject matter intended here. But, again, so does a lot, which really means this is just for everything and who cares about my original intentions.

Actually I likely will write about it here, now that I have done this post. Another day though. I am going to go watch the American Idol season finale and read transcripts until I am alseep. CSI episodes are downloading and my internet is so much faster here.

Tomorrow at 9:30 my wonderful and amazing sister is picking me up to go make arrangements at the crematorium. I might brush my hair and wear make-up for the first time since Sunday. Oh, and please don't feel obligated to comment or send "condolences" or apologize (which really make very little sense unless you are a disease). Maybe just tell me you're reading. In a way that would make me feel warm and fuzzy in a way other things can not.

5 comments:

Delgar said...

Just letting you know that I'm reading and wishing you and your family the best.

Anonymous said...

I won't apologize, you're right, it doesn't make sense. I read your blog everyday, and it makes me happy to know you are there. Be strong, I know you will.

Carly said...

wear your favourite makeup.
you are strong.

bedshaped said...

I've read it....

Anonymous said...

of course im reading. and again, before my email! xoxo midge.