Until someone gets a finger in their eye

I have been out much of the evening at Island and Victoria's helping Island with some stuff. It was good.

However.

(I would respond in the comments but for some reason can't access my own comments pages for whatever reason)

I really don't want to offend people when I say what I do and don't like, but wouldn't you rather know than for me to just not write and think people are creepy? I don't automatically think anyone writing is actually creepy, but the messages just make me feel weird. I don't necessarily want anyone to not comment, but if you want the sexual content I have to be comfortable, and comments have the power to make me not feel that way. I don't expect people to know what will always make me feel comfortable, so I said something.

So why don't I turn off anonymous posting? Because I like that people, who I may know, or might get to know can comment without having a blog. I know that comes with hazards, but if you want me to know who you are post with a name. If you don't or you can't post with a consistant name, you can't expect me to know who you are and so I will read the comments with a different frame of mind. Plus if you do post as Anonymous and you want me to recognize you make it obvious. The second comments on last night's post was, but I certainly know who that was.

The second post today about the asshole boys in cars wasn't about me feeling bad about what they said, it was about how when you call someone on something they don't often reply in the best way. I mean the commentor could have responded in a way better way and I guess I was just irritated, if not completely justified. As I said above I didn't mean for my morning post to say the anonymous poster was creepy as much as it creeped me out.

The poster could have responded by first explaining who they were so that I could make a connection as that was part of what made me feel weird, rather than just asking me if I was sure and providing not the tiniest hint. Of course I'm sure, or I wouldn't have said it. And then not further respond with something about enjoying me being bitchy - I was bitchy out of frustration and no one should enjoy someone elses frustration. I saw it as completely disrespectful and like I was't being taken seriously.

But this comment I'm replying to directly and I wish I could do so in the comments themselves but alas I can not:
I apologize for any negative feelings that my words might have caused you. Just take things for what they are and be flattered that I am attracted to you because of what you say and think. I am in now way trying to be sexist or disrespectful. Don't ever let other peoples words or actions effect you in any way. We will most likely never meet and that is unfortunate, because I feel a connection with you on an intellectual basis. I understand the feeling can not possibly be mutual, I have read your thoughts but you have no idea what I'm all about.

Thank you for apologizing. I would like to be flattered that it is also what I think but the context of the comment last night was strictly physical and sexual. That leads me to naturally believe that the flattering is also only about that. I understand now but I had nnothing before this to make me think that. I I didn't think you were intending to do either of those things, but that's how they came across and so I said something, just in case. I am open to knowing what you're about. I have done that with several other people. But when I have no idea who you are or anything how is it possible. Just becasue you think something if you do not directly tell me, I can not know. I hope this clears up how I feeling all of this. I in no way meant to attack you but I was getting a bad vibe even if you didn't mean to send it. If you want me to get good one from you, just take the feedback and keep going. Plus, I still have no idea where we might have communicated before, which leaves me confused.
But I've got to pick on the comment about not letting other peoples words affect you. Are you kidding me? This process is an absolutely essential part to the human experience. I mean it's all in conext and yes, some people should be ignored, but a very dangerous sweeping statement. Also, I thought it would be productive in this arena to explain in hopes of clearing up confusion/misunderstandings instead of just be rude and ignore. I knew it was meant as a compliment, but the way that it was given somehow doesn't feel too much like one. right or wrong, it's how it feels to me, and if you want me to feel flattered by you, don't do it until there's a mutual comfort.

So.

Maybe I'm taking this all too seriously. Maybe I'm not in a state of mind to be posting about things I can't handle such reactions to. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll only allow comments on some posts. Maybe I'll stop posting certain things. I'll think about it and see.